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i have so much to update on my blog. months and months worth of news, joys, and heartache. in time, i not only want to tell the story of our baby abigail kathleen, i will be able to. on February 22, 2013 we learned we were blessed with another baby growing inside of me. on july 5, 2013 our baby was born into heaven. the months in between were filled with love, excitement, daydreaming and then quickly turned to anxiety, pain, and heartache. Throughout those months, weeks, days and hours, I wrote things down, for once I learned that my time may be limited, I wanted to remember every second I had with my baby girl. I hope to share all my words, eventually. I hope abigail can leave a mark on this world, the way she has left one on us.

(taken early May)

But today, 7 weeks later, this little boy is making me smile, laugh and believe that the world is not that bad of a place. I wasn't able to say that 6 1/2 weeks ago. but this little boy tugs at every inch of my heart and the love i have for him is indescribable. he is healing me, with every hug he gives, kiss he blows, word he says, ball he throws, high five he gives, and face he makes. durning those moments of pain and anger that revisit my mind often, he quickly turns my thoughts into being grateful and appreciative. i will always miss abigail, always wonder about how life would be if she was here, always imagine how she would have looked with a bow in her hair but I know she is in a better place, free of pain & that, that leaves my heavy heart and tear filled eyes, at peace.