reminiscing...

I remember February 28, 2012, like it was yesterday. I remember the whole day, all the feelings, every emotion. Im quick to recall how that last push felt & the joy that overcame my whole body as my son was placed on my chest. It was as if the world stopped and everything was perfect. His cries were music to my ears and when he grasped my necklace and cuddled into my chest, I was immediately at peace. It was surreal, & even though I can remember every feeling & every second of the day... I still am in disbelief that the whole day occurred. Some days, I stare at Connor in amazement that he not only grew in me for 9 months, but that I pushed him out of my body & now get to spend every day watching him grow. 

What a miracle!! 

Moments where you feel so at peace and so much love are rare, occur only a few times in ones lifetime and are a true gift.

I thank God everyday for giving me that day, that day I became a mother; a role that many people are quick to take for granted, however not me. 

As Connor is now 10 months old, I am quickly realizing how fast he is growing. Although I couldn't ask for anything more than the healthy baby he is, I cannot believe he is almost a year old. 

Although February 28, 2012, is almost a whole year ago, I will never forget it. Future babies birth will be just as amazing, Im sure, but the first baby... Those first emotions, first feelings of anxiety, first experience of labor pains, first delivery, first time feeling a newborn on your chest... 

I pray God has in store for me to experience all that again... & again & just maybe again :) 

One day... 

a december to remember

 target Christmas shopping with mama

 feeding himself his favorite puffs

 so excited the tree is almost done

 magical

 playing with the cousins when the power went out at our house

 visiting santa at the mall 

 fussy nights... result in cuddling with mama in bed at 12am

 followed by days of long naps.... with imprints of his paci on his forehead

 its the most wonderful time

 teething baby = funny face time

 a stop to visit daddy at work

 a whole new view

 San Francisco fun 

in the city with our best friends

 Union square from a trolley

 Dec 17th, 9 month check up= healthy baby boy

 Birthday dinner for Grandpa Tim

 All smiles

 so proud of the collection of kitchen towels

 hanging on mommys lap, the best place to be

 santa booty

 Christmas morning magic

 So many toys, so little time

 playing like a big boy

 baths are his favorite

 on patrol

watch out bad guys, officer Connor is on duty! 

my baby, JOY & christmas day

christmas day with a 10 month old was magical

i loved every second of decorating, buying presents, wrapping gifts, and playing Santa Claus

Connor lit up when he saw all the balloons & presents left for him by Santa & mommy & daddy

somedays, i forget life before Connor, simply because it doesn't compare to life with him

the joy that Connor shares with all of us makes everyone around him light up

he lights up a room, simply by smiling and being the baby that he is

Everyday, I try to savor all my seconds that I get to spend with him

How could I not?

Everyday he is growing, changing and becoming more independent 

one day he may not want to cuddle at 3am so peacefully in my arms

one day nursing will not be a comforting solution when tears fill his eyes

one day he may not want to be held ALL day long or like to go grocery shopping with mommy

somedays, some moments are so precious, so perfect & so magical; that i wish i could record them so i could play that moment over & over & over again

like when he I walk into his room in the morning and am greeted with a large, gummy smile of a little boy reaching for his mommy

or when i pick him up and his body instantly messes with mine as he nestles his head into the cravats of my neck and takes a big sigh in contentment

or when i hold him in my arms & kiss his soft checks and he giggles in a shy, adorable way

those moments are so perfect

& Christmas day was that same way

this year has been full of so many JOYS; mainly Connor & all the love that he has created, enhanced and opened us all up too

However, it has also involved heartbreak, defeat, anxiety & terror. 2012 was a hard year for my family; with my father in laws health having its ups & downs and my in laws home burning down to the ground, along with several friends & family members getting divorced. 

I have learned that life will be full of defeat, sadness and pain, but along with that...  comes joy, overcoming and happiness.

On Christmas Day, as I was surround by my loved ones, the ones who endured pain, terror and sadness this year, I was reminded of their strength and optimistic attitude they conveyed. They remind me that life is a special gift, and each day surely is magical. I felt so much peace on Christmas day. Sitting around the fire opening presents at my in-laws new home, seeing my brother laugh and smile, and signing the 12 days of Christmas around the dinner table are memories I will never forget. 

2012 may have had its rough moments, but Christmas day was perfect.

Connor's 1st Christmas was one I will remember forever. Not only was he showered with presents galore, he was also showered with so much love. In his innocent eyes, you could see the excitement and amazement of the day. 

He smiled so much that day & is having the time of his life playing with all his new toys!

baby... its cold outside

We are staying warm; cuddling, Christmas shopping, baking cookies & watching Christmas movies. 

Merry Christmas my friends... 

Santa will be here in 4 short days... 

9 month old C Jack

My little man turned 9 months on November 28... However, with Thanksgiving & school ending... Im just now getting around to typing up his 9 month post but the pictures we taken on time!

Connor J. you are 9 months old! 

You weigh 19. 6oz (on 12/17/12) & 29.5 inches long

You are wearing mostly 9 month & 12 month clothing

Size 3 diapers 

Your sleeping though the night from 8pm to 8 or 9am

You are saying mama & dada & so many other "words"... Sometimes you go on your minutes just babbling away.. & we like to pretend to answer your questions and have conversations with you. Daddy is really good at making up funny conversations :)

 You are active boy! Although you still love being held & cuddled, you want to move! You love rolling around & scouting on your belly. This is your method of travel & it works! You still love bath time, your jumperoo, your walker, playing peek-a-boo, and your stroller. You have started playing a new game with us when we laugh, you laugh & then wait for us to laugh again before you laugh again! Its quite fun! Also, you love to chase Radar in your walker! You giggle & laugh so loud as you chase her all around the house! 

Your eating lots of new foods! Your on two meals a day; breakfast is cereal and some sort of fruit & dinner is a veggie or meat. This month you started self-feeding with some finger foods. You love puffs, blueberries and bananas. Still no teeth so its hard to feed you anything to hard. Also, your not a big fan of texture just yet! You are still nursing through out the day as well & a big bottle before bed!

This month, we celebrated your first Thanksgiving. You sat at the table full of all your family! You even got join in and eat some of the meal... However, you did not like it.. at all. You tried mashed potatoes, gagged, then spit up all over your high chair! Everyone was watching and started laughing, you then starting crying.... Poor baby didn't like being laughed at and I don't blame you!

You have a new do this month... a MOHAWK! Its fun!

I just may think you are the happiest baby on the planet.. Everyone agree?!?

Happy 9 months old my favorite little boy! 

I thank God every night for blessing me with you. You have no idea how full you make my life feel :)

& here are a few fun videos of you from this month! 

Happy December!

I love everything about December...

the semester ending 

the tree & lights up

sleeping in and snuggling with my boys

going to see Santa

& the great feeling of Christmas joy!

Having a little guy to spoil for Christmas makes the holidays even more enjoyable & special! As he stares at the brights lights of our Christmas tree, I can see the magic of the season through his innocent eyes. Not to mention, he loves listening & hearing Mama sing lots of Christmas music! 

Last week we took him to see Santa.... & he loved him!! Especially his beard!! & I must say... do we agree that Santa looks like the real guy?!?

Connor also received a super nice letter from Santa himself!!! He was super surprised & of course wanted to see how the letter tasted, however I told him he could not drool all over it since it was from Santa & we need to put it in his scrapbook :) 

Only 15 more days til Christmas... Are you ready?!? 

So thankful

This week... actually whole month has flown by, yet again! 

There is SO many things Im thankful for this year. 

Im thankful for the fall days I get to spend with my baby & my doggy in the park!

Im thankful for this little boys bright blue eyes that melt my heart every second! 

Im thankful I get to watch him grown into a healthy, giggly baby boy.

Im thankful that he looks like his daddy, so even when daddy is hard at work for our family, it feels like his daddy is there. 

& most of all Im thankful to be the one this little boy reaches for .... He may not be able to talk, but everyday he shows me how much he loves me, & for that.... I am so thankful

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

Now time to decorate for my favorite holiday! Im excited that I already have presents to wrap for under the tree :)