Happy Birthday Mama!

Well her birthday isn't until Friday but we celebrated early by surprising her with a limo & wine tasting! It was such a fun day, even though I was away from my little man for the first time for more than 30 minutes! I left the house kinda sad but had so much fun once we got in the limo & started tasting all the yummy wine! I remained a responsible mama by only sipping most of the wine than passing it off to Derek... he loved that idea at the time, however when he was than hungover at 9pm I'm sure he wished he hadn't drank for the both of us :) 

The day was full of laughs, smiles, amazing views and fun memories we will talk about forever. It even involved pumping in a public bathroom for the 1st time. Oh the joys of being a mama! Grandma, GiGi & Kate all watched Connor & were so nice to spend me many pictures & even a video of Connor throughout the day! 

Although I loved every minute of our fun day away, I sure LOVED the second I walked in the door & saw my smiling baby boy! 

 

New Normal

Welcome to the new normal. My life officially revolves around this little one, in a great way. He is my world from the moment he coo's and caa's in the morning with a smile on his face, to the moment I lay him in bed to sleep for the night...well more like 3 hours, then he's awake again for a feeding :)

I rarely put him down, I rarely let him cry, & I always make sure he knows his mama loves him. I dont believe its called spoiling, I believe its called love. After all I held him for 41 weeks inside of me, of course Im going to hold him for his first 8 weeks of life. I think because of our awesome parenting skills, Connor is a HAPPY, HAPPY baby!

Dont worry, he stills get lots of tummy time & lays on his new play gym mat, which he loves too!

Look who is 1 month old!

Connor's 1st month

.... 10 days late

When I was pregnant I remember thinking how much I wanted to blog at least three times a week to remember all the precious moments of my baby growing. Well, not only have I not blogged three times a week, I haven't managed to blog three times this whole month! I started working on several smaller posts but decided to do one big post about my baby's first month of life.

Parenthood has been the most amazing adventure I have ever embarked on. I knew that I would love that baby growing in my belly but getting to see him grow and change each day in my arms is indescribable. Seeing Derek as a dad melts my heart. Derek is so naturally comfortable when it comes to Connor and being a dad. Its like he just know's what his baby needs.

Dear Baby boy,

You have light brown hair, light eyelashes and light eyebrows. You have big blue eyes and a cute pudgy nose. There is something about your ears that I just love. They are so small & perfect. Your arms and legs are long and your fingers are long and skinny. His skin is so smooth and once the jaundice cleared up, his skin became a beautiful color. At just a few weeks old, you became so strong, holding your head up for a few seconds and stretching your legs out trying to stand. You love to hold on to mama's finger while she feeds you... which melts my heart.

At birth you weighted 7lbs 13oz

On Friday, March 2nd you weighted 6lbs 14oz

After our 24 hour stay in the nursery you weighted 7lbs 4oz

At his 2 week check up on March 14 you weighted 8lbs 3oz

At 1 month, I am guessing you weight at least 9lbs!

You wear Newborn clothes, size Newborn diapers and tiny tiny socks that don't stay on your feet.

You like to be swaddled, but your arms MUST be out. If not you make it clear that you want them out. I don't blame you... you were crammed for over 9 months in mama belly. You also love your hands right by your face, especially when you sleep.

At one month old, we have "somewhat" of a sleep schedule. Although the times vary each night, you eat every 3 hours for the most part. Most feedings you fall asleep eating and Mommy puts you back in your bed after burping you. Of course there were (and still are) nights where it's every hour and half, leaving Mommy only 45 minutes of sleep in between. I wish I could say you sleep sound in your bassinet, but you don't. Some nights you do but many nights I lay you in there and you cry. Once I quickly move you into your bouncy seat, you fall fast asleep... At 3am... the bouncy seat wins!

I gave in to the pressure (not really pressure more like a nurse at the hospital) and you use a Paci, which you LOVE it. However I like to only give it to you when nothing else works or if I need to slip in my 5 minute shower :)

You love bath time. You just lay there & stare at me while I clean you all up. You don't like when I turn off the water so mommy has to go fast to try you and get your clothes on.

You love sleeping on mommy's chest. Most evenings after eating you fall asleep for hours on me while daddy and I watch our shows. It my favorite time of the day. I've also learned to multi-task durning this time. I just can't sit you down!

Your first few weeks of life, you had many visitors and so many people brought you gifts and cooked us dinner. Your grandparents, aunties and uncles ADORE you. Whenever Nonni, Grandma, Gigi and Auntie Katelyn are all together they (subtly) fight over who gets to hold you. How could they not? You are that perfect! I know that if they come up that means I won't get to hold you for a few hours, luckily I always get to steel you away to eat!

Your first "holiday" was St. Patricks Day. Daddy had work but we celebrated with nonni and pop before daddy left for work. You had the cutest outfit on!

I am aware that I do not have another baby to compare you too, nor will I ever compare you to anyone, but I must say you are a HAPPY baby. You are full of smiles and giggles, coos and caa's all day long. When you cry, 99% of the time a diaper change and some food calm you right down. I can count with one hand the times that didn't seem to work.

You stare into my eyes and touch every bit of my heart. You have stolen my world and the heart of all of your family. I loved my life before you were born, but life with you in it, is even better!

Baby boy, I cannot believe you are a month old! Now the days just need to slow down so my baby doesn't grow up so quickly.

love, Mama

The joys of breastfeeding... & Jaundice

Minutes after Connor was born, I breastfeed him for the first time. It was something new to the both of us, but I love the connection I felt with him. He had grown in my body for 9 months and breastfeeding him felt as if part of him was still inside of me.I left the hospital confident in my ability to feed him even though Connor & I were both still learning how breastfeeding worked.

His first night home was rough looking back. I would feed him and he would quickly fall asleep only to wake up 30-45 minutes later wanting to eat again. I thought this was normal. We did this all night and the next morning and Connor only had 1 wet diaper in 20 hours. We went for our check up the next morning, just 20 hours after we got home from the hospital.

Friday morning, 2 1/2 days after his birth and Connor weighted 6lbs 14oz, almost a whole pound less than his birth weight! I breastfeed in front of the nurse and she could see my struggle to get him to properly latch. With such weight loss, she suggested supplementing with formula and a syringe until my milk came in. I was okay with this; I wanted my baby to be healthy and I knew this was a temporary problem & temporary solution. She collected blood from his heel, let us know she would call us with his blood results and we were on our way.

Derek ran to target to get some formula and a few other items. Once he got home I took a nap only to be woken by Derek just a few minutes later. The doctor had called him and explained that Connors bilirubin level was 18.5! His level had risen since the day before and we needed to head to the hospital as soon as possible for Connor to be admitted to the nursery for phototherapy. I was half asleep as I packed a quick bag and grabbed a few snacks before I got into the car. Derek already had Connor ready in the car-seat (such a good daddy). Once we got in the car, it all kinda hit me and I began crying. I knew he was going to be okay, but I was sad for my baby boy. Less than 24 hours home, we were already having to go back.

Our 24 hours in the nursery was hard on me emotionally. Luckily they were able to give us a postpartum room so we could stay in the hospital. Connor was put under the phototherapy lamps and I went to the nursery every 3 hours on the dot to feed my baby. During our 24 hours there, we went from supplementing with a syringe and formula, to using an SNS with formula, to using my breast milk with the SNS. Connor began to have wet diapers, which made me feel so much better knowing my baby was being fed and the jaundice was passing though his system.

I can picture sitting next to his little crib as he laid under the lights. I didn't want to leave him after each feeding, yet it was so hard to not be able to pick him up and hold him. He was my baby, just days old and I didn't want to be away from him. Derek held me close as I laid back in the same hospital bed we had just left... yet this time no baby was in our room. This night was hard on Derek & I, yet I saw us grow so much closer together durning those hours. We know longer cared about ourselves, all we wanted was for our baby to be healthy.

A long 24 hours later, we were able to come back home. His levels had dropped dramatically from 18.5 to 13 which was such a relief.

The first 2 weeks, breastfeeding was an up & down journey. We continued to supplement with breast milk every other feeding for a week after we left the nursery. This meant that each feeding, Derek got the SNS ready with my milk and helped me durning each feeding. We did this more for our own peace of mind, as I knew Connor wasn't latching as efficiently as he should be. Luckily, Connor, me & Derek were patient and once Connor was 12 days old, we stopped all forms of supplementing.

I never though that breastfeeding meant my husband holding a drip-system filled with breast milk as I struggled to get Connor to latch. There were many times I just wanted to quick. I would sit there feeding him crying to Derek knowing that he was mainly sucking the tube and not me. Derek was awesome durning this whole process. He could have told me to quit. He could have gone downstairs and made a bottle. He could have stayed asleep for all those feedings every 2 to 3 hours... but he didn't. He encouraged me to keep trying and reminded me that the most important thing was that Connor was happy and getting milk... regardless of the method.

I'm proud of myself and my baby boy. We went though a hard journey together and now he is eating like a champ! I am 100% more comfortable with breastfeeding than I was 3 weeks ago. I thank Derek all the time for his help in those first weeks.

Im sure breastfeeding will not be the only challenge I face as a new mom... before ya no it I'll be dealing with curfews & girlfriends!!

Connor's Birth Story

** This post is long over-due. I am just now finishing it up, with a cute little baby boy in my lap too! Connor is almost a month old! I cannot believe it! Be aware this post is very long! **

Monday, February 27, I went to bed anxiously awaiting my 41 week appointment the next morning. I was ready to ask my doctor to induce me that day. I wanted to meet my little man and I was getting to a breaking point of being pregnant. I figured my pregnancy would end in an induction the following day. Little did I know what was in store.

Around 4am, Derek had just came to bed...yes... Derek had been playing play-station all night long! We chatted for a few minutes and I was having some painful cramps. They were consistent, but tolerable & not time-able. I got up to use the restroom and the cramps continued. At 5am, as I laid in bed complaining to Derek about my cramps and while asking him 'do you think I'm in labor?', completely naive to what labor felt like... MY WATER BROKE... all over our bed!! There was no more questioning "is this labor?" I WAS indeed in labor. Seconds after my water broke, contractions began. Within seconds I went from moderate cramping to painful contractions 4-5 minutes apart. Being a week overdue, having my bag of waters broke and contractions coming quick, we (more like Derek being very nervous & secretly freaking out) decided to head to the hospital 30 minutes away.

The car ride was painful. I kept feeling as if I needed to use the restroom with each contraction. I attempted to eat toast that Derek had made for me but eating was the farest thing from my mind. With each contraction, now coming every 3 minutes, I felt derek drive faster. Luckily it was 5:30am and few cars were on the road!

We arrived at 6 am to Kaiser and my parents were already there. I was checked and sadly was only 2 cm. I knew I wasn't going to be far along. I had only been having painful contractions for maybe 2 hours at this point. However, since my water had broken and the contractions were so close, I was admitted. My first nurse, Peggy, got my IV started and we discussed getting an epidural. I decided to go walk the halls to progress my labor before I would be restricted to the bed with the epidural. Derek & I walked hand in hand for maybe 20 minutes, taking breaks against the walls of the hallway every 2 minutes or so as the contractions filled my body. Derek was SO good at reminding me to breath! Crazy as it seems, I wouldn't breath. I would just keep saying "oh it hurts" over and over.

As soon as we got back to the room, my nurse ordered the epidural. It was now 12:00 and I was 4 cm dilated. Everyone had to leave the room for it, which made me nervous. Luckily my nurse was really sweet & comforted me. I didn't realize how hard it would be to sit on the edge of the bed hunched over a pillow with a 41 week pregnant belly while having extricating pain fill my body and being told to stay completely still. Sure doc! Well, the epidural took about 20 minutes or so then the anesthesiologist said they were going to administer a "test dose". Within seconds, I felt a rush to my head and apparently my blood pressure spiked from 80 to 120. The anesthesiologist instantly pulled out the epidural! He explained to me it must have not been in the proper location and they were going to have to start all over. Hormonal, uncomfortable me began balling. How was I going to sit still for another 20 minutes through painful contractions that were coming every 2 minutes and lasting a minute? Well, I did. The second epidural worked this time and within 20 minutes I was nicely feeling the effects. I could still feel my legs and mild cramping with each contraction, which was great!

I was warned that getting an epidural could slow down labor, and that happened! My contractions were not coming as quickly and were no longer strong... So in went the pitocin. I always find it so ironic with medicine... it helps one thing, but can cause something else. Anyway, the rest of the afternoon, pitocin was given, then stopped, then given again, then stopped.

Around 4:30 I started feeling each contraction with great intensity. Within 20 minutes it felt as if the epidural had just stopped working... My nurse got the anesthesiologist yet again and he "topped" the epidural off. He explained to me that it could take up to 20 minutes to feel its effects... I painfully waited 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes as the contractions grew more intense with no relief. Finally by 6:00, the anesthesiologist said "lets redo your epidural". So yet again, I hunched over and endured a 3rd epidural!

Finally it worked! I was able to enjoy the next 3 hours with a brief nap. The nurse checked me at 9:00 on the dot to find baby boys head on its way out. Suddenly, it was real! It was time to push. I was so overwhelmed with excitement and nerves. I remember looking at Derek the nurse explained to him how to hold my leg... He seemed so ready to meet his baby boy, yet in shock at the same time. I was nervous he was going to pass out so I told him to take off his sweatshirt hehe (yes there I was in labor, about to push out a baby & I was worried about my husband). He said "no im fine" and then a few seconds later said "ok maybe your right". With the next contraction I began to push. Derek reminded me to take a deep breath in and then he counted to 10 for me. Derek was a great labor coach. He encouraged me, praised me and kept me focused. Around 9:25, the doctor came in and quickly got ready. She seems quite surprised that I had only been pushing for 15 minutes and his head was already almost out. 3 pushes later and Connor Jackson Russell was born at 9:35pm.

The joy that was felt as he was placed on my chest is indescribable. It was a moment that I dreamed about my whole life and it was even better than I imagined it. Tears filled my eyes as I saw Derek mesmerized by his baby boy as he kissed him for the first time. In that moment, I've never felt so lucky and blessed.

We spent the next hour as a family of 3 before family and friends quickly said Hi to Connor. Around 11:30pm everyone had left and it was just me & my 2 boys. I think that was my favorite time. Connor was just hours old and so perfect in my arms. I loved staring at Derek as he held Connor completely in love.

February 28th is a day I will never forget. It was the day I became a mom and saw my husband stand by my side for a 16 hour labor with no sleep the night before. It was a day filled with pain, stress, emotions and SO much love. Looking back at pictures of friends and family in the waiting room, makes me feel so special. To know that 15 people waited at the hospital, some over 12 hours, for Connor to be born touches my heart. Im glad it was a day that our family and close friends got to share in the excitement and anticipation. I could have never gotten though any of it without Derek.

Baby boy...

Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were an hour old I would die for you

Many more pictures & posts of Connor's first month to come!

Connor Jackson Russell

He is here & perfect! Connor Jackson Russell was born Tuesday February 28 at 9:35pm. My water broke at 5am that day and I finally began pushing at 9:10pm and 25 minutes later, Connor arrived! Derek was AMAZING during labor and delivery. He stood by my side and held my hand through each contraction & push. There is nothing better than seeing your husband become a daddy. Seeing Connor for the first time was overwhelming. Those 9 months in my belly, plus an extra week, couldn't even prepare me for the love I'd have for him.

I am working on typing up a birth story as well as sharing lots of pictures of labor, our hospital stay, and 1st week at home. Lets see if I manage to actually do all that... For some reason, I have alot less free time to blog all of a sudden ;)