His first night home was rough looking back. I would feed him and he would quickly fall asleep only to wake up 30-45 minutes later wanting to eat again. I thought this was normal. We did this all night and the next morning and Connor only had 1 wet diaper in 20 hours. We went for our check up the next morning, just 20 hours after we got home from the hospital.
Friday morning, 2 1/2 days after his birth and Connor weighted 6lbs 14oz, almost a whole pound less than his birth weight! I breastfeed in front of the nurse and she could see my struggle to get him to properly latch. With such weight loss, she suggested supplementing with formula and a syringe until my milk came in. I was okay with this; I wanted my baby to be healthy and I knew this was a temporary problem & temporary solution. She collected blood from his heel, let us know she would call us with his blood results and we were on our way.
Derek ran to target to get some formula and a few other items. Once he got home I took a nap only to be woken by Derek just a few minutes later. The doctor had called him and explained that Connors bilirubin level was 18.5! His level had risen since the day before and we needed to head to the hospital as soon as possible for Connor to be admitted to the nursery for phototherapy. I was half asleep as I packed a quick bag and grabbed a few snacks before I got into the car. Derek already had Connor ready in the car-seat (such a good daddy). Once we got in the car, it all kinda hit me and I began crying. I knew he was going to be okay, but I was sad for my baby boy. Less than 24 hours home, we were already having to go back.
Our 24 hours in the nursery was hard on me emotionally. Luckily they were able to give us a postpartum room so we could stay in the hospital. Connor was put under the phototherapy lamps and I went to the nursery every 3 hours on the dot to feed my baby. During our 24 hours there, we went from supplementing with a syringe and formula, to using an SNS with formula, to using my breast milk with the SNS. Connor began to have wet diapers, which made me feel so much better knowing my baby was being fed and the jaundice was passing though his system.
I can picture sitting next to his little crib as he laid under the lights. I didn't want to leave him after each feeding, yet it was so hard to not be able to pick him up and hold him. He was my baby, just days old and I didn't want to be away from him. Derek held me close as I laid back in the same hospital bed we had just left... yet this time no baby was in our room. This night was hard on Derek & I, yet I saw us grow so much closer together durning those hours. We know longer cared about ourselves, all we wanted was for our baby to be healthy.
A long 24 hours later, we were able to come back home. His levels had dropped dramatically from 18.5 to 13 which was such a relief.
The first 2 weeks, breastfeeding was an up & down journey. We continued to supplement with breast milk every other feeding for a week after we left the nursery. This meant that each feeding, Derek got the SNS ready with my milk and helped me durning each feeding. We did this more for our own peace of mind, as I knew Connor wasn't latching as efficiently as he should be. Luckily, Connor, me & Derek were patient and once Connor was 12 days old, we stopped all forms of supplementing.
I never though that breastfeeding meant my husband holding a drip-system filled with breast milk as I struggled to get Connor to latch. There were many times I just wanted to quick. I would sit there feeding him crying to Derek knowing that he was mainly sucking the tube and not me. Derek was awesome durning this whole process. He could have told me to quit. He could have gone downstairs and made a bottle. He could have stayed asleep for all those feedings every 2 to 3 hours... but he didn't. He encouraged me to keep trying and reminded me that the most important thing was that Connor was happy and getting milk... regardless of the method.
I'm proud of myself and my baby boy. We went though a hard journey together and now he is eating like a champ! I am 100% more comfortable with breastfeeding than I was 3 weeks ago. I thank Derek all the time for his help in those first weeks.
Im sure breastfeeding will not be the only challenge I face as a new mom... before ya no it I'll be dealing with curfews & girlfriends!!
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