Decisions

The other day, a friend of mine told me I was made to be a mom. The way she said it was so sincere & the words felt so true. The truth is I agree with her. Being a mom fits me. I love every single second of it... including the dirty diapers, crying, teething, & having no time to myself to take a shower... Yes I love all that. I understand Connor in a way no one else do. I can instantly tell when he is tired, fussy, & hungry & I know exactly how to make him happier. We get each other. 

As the first of many of my friends to have a baby, lots of my friends have told me how "good" I am at being a mom, how happy Connor always is & how we make it all look easy. It's flattering to hear but the truth is, I just do what comes natural and in return, Connor is happy. Babies do not come with handbooks and everyday brings new challenges and decisions for me to make and I just go with my gut. 

On Monday, I am returning to finish my masters... It was a decision that took months for me to make. Most decisions I make and go confidently into them, however this has not been the case. I love school. I love learning and gaining knowledge in areas that I love. 

However, that was before I had Connor. 

Things change when you have a baby, priorities change, life changes. 

Part of me wants to stay at home with Connor, and future babies and never leave their side. The other part of me knows that I have invested lots of $ into school, and in a year and a half, I'll have a masters to prove my hard work, and not to mention be able to do my dream job in the future... if I ever do have to work in the future (lets hope not!) I also know that it is good for both Connor and myself for us to spend some time apart too. He will be well taken care of with daddy, nonni & grandma on occasions. 

I know that I was made to be a mommy & I hope that in the future I can stay home full time & spoil my kids like crazy with love... 

With a masters hanging on my wall :)

My 5 month old

** This post has been sitting in my draft folder all month! Though I posted it already... Connor will be 6 month in 4 days :/

Happy 5 months old Baby boy! 

This month your personality has sprung out of you. Everyday its as if you notice something new and learn something different. We went to Donner Lake for 4th of july.. Met lots of extended family & Watched fireworks. You didn't cry but it was loud so Nonni brought you inside. While we were there you rolled from tummy to back twice!

                        You are in size 2 diaper. Wearing mostly 6 month or 6-9 month clothes. You still wear some 3-6 & started wearing some 9 month clothing. 

 

You really dislike being distracted while nursing.. If anyone talks, phone rings or  I drink water, you pop off & give a look like 'hey, why you interrupting me?' You also went on a nursing strike this month... Not fun!

A few good nights of 7+ hours of sleep straight.. Followed by a few nights of up every 3-4 

 

I think you're starting to exceed the weight limit on the bouncy seat. Plus even when buckled, you try standing up in it which makes for an accident waiting to happen You love when I sing the abc song. You smile & move your mouth as if you want to sing with me. You like to scratch things and feel the texture. You like opening & closing your fingers on different materials. We also got out you baby Einstein jumper but your still a bit too small. You also have begun to notice Radar more. You even reached out & petted her.

      

You still love bath time, going for walks & people watching. You also are becoming more aware of your surroundings. You stare at trees, birds, flags, fans, & mirrors.

  

Your feet are awesome, your new game is pulling your own socks off. It takes you about 10 min but your always successful. Mamas face keeps your entertained for a good 10 minutes. You like to grab my nose, mouth, ears, neck, you name it.. You grab it!

                    Your fast to grab things... including mamas glass of milk on the table! You're really good at putting your paci back in your month with ease & picking up toys that you want to play with.     

Your nickname was hudeany for a few days.. I see a career in magic in your future! On July 21 & 22... You rolled from your back to your front 3 times & guess what... I missed every time! I would leave the room for 30 second.. Literally & over you would go! We're starting to think that when your alone your motivate to come find us!

    

This is pretty much what you thought of our photoshoot at the end.. "Like really mom, you want me to wear this sticker?"

Life lately...

according to my iphone

 sleepy boy

 play time with daddy's face

 This is what we do for fun! Now we just have to decide what to do with all our money $

Beach Day!

"Oh this food is too good mama"

"Hey baby boy, I put you down on your back in the middle of your play mat. How did you get over there?"

All smiles after his afternoon nap, in his big boy crib!

Its happening... Home made baby food!

Trying out the final result. All smiles= good in my book! 

Doggy went swimming on a hot evening

A clean bedroom makes me feel so good!

Dinner Time!

You now when you're watching a baseball game and the pitcher is doing really great but you don't want to say anything because as soon as you do just then, the picture throws a ball that results in a home run and now that home run is all because of YOU, because you said he was doing SOO good... well thats how I feel right now.... 

Dare I say it...

Connor is doing really well in his crib!

He still has a little rough patch falling asleep, wakes up usually once about 30min to an hour after I put him down wanting his paci. But then he is out! Last night it was from 10:30-7:15! I'll take that. I nursed him at 7:15am & he was back down from 8-9:15am. 

Baby boy is growing up! Im loving this age right now, almost 6 months old. He's giggly, loving, shy at times, smily, rolling around, grabs for toys... as well as my hair & any body part on my face that sticks out.

This week he began eating solids too! The first day he was neutral about rice cereal & if you ask me it looked like breast-milk on a spoon. Yesterday I lessened the amount of breast-milk & Connor really enjoyed it. He took a nap about an hour after eating. After he woke up he spit up so much! Guess Mama feed him a bit to much of that yummy cereal. I was going to start him on avocado today but we shall see!

Here is Connor eating rice cereal for the first time the other night. Daddy had so much fun feeding him!

"Really dad, I get to eat all that."

Mamas turn!

Beach Day

This video summarizes our amazing day at the beach yesterday! I think we can all agree that my sister in law is one talented girl! She created this video & its so awesome! Thanks Kate! 

feeling hot, hot, hot

Were not up to much today... it is too hot to do much of anything outside! 104 degrees hot! So Connor is napping & Im relaxing with some yummy ice tea. My best friend is on her way to say hi before Derek & I head to Benicia for dinner at his brothers house. They got a new puppy last night & I cannot wait to meet her. Plus Radar gets to meet her so that should be fun... 2 cute black labs playing together :) It's a great day if you ask me. Except for the 104 degrees part... & Connor screaming every time I put him in his crib last night which resulted in him & I sleeping together in the guest room... 

Bad Idea? YES I agree with you! 

Besides that, its a great day!

I must say, I love this little boy so much... no matter how much he cries for his mama every night! 

home away from home

Donner lake was a place we visited every summer for a 7 days growing up... then left and dreamed about returning again the next summer. Durning those 7 days we'd ride our bikes, swim in the lake, play with our blow up boat in the swim area, then play with our real boat, sun tan on the beach, play horse shoes, drink Capri-suns, play cards & relax. 

In 2005, my parents bought a cabin in our favorite place... Donner Lake. For the last 7 years, that cabin has become my second home. So many memories are made inside those 4 walls. So many laughs, so many stories and most of all so much love. Our family is so lucky to have a place like that to go to where from the second you get there, you feel at home. Daddy,Connor, Radar & I took our third trip of the summer to Donner last week. 

Looking back, I feel like I have grown so much inside those 4 walls. When my parents first bought it I was in high school & can remember the first night spent at our cabin. Derek, Brett & I shared a room with 4 huge beds in it and we laughed the whole night. The next day we began throwing junk outside & woke up the next morning to all the junk covered in snow... & we didn't even own the junk yet! I celebrated my 18th birthday with my 6 best friends there. In college, I can picture laying on the beach with Shannon, Connie, Joe, Aaron, Derek & my brother. I remember scrap-booking my engagement party in Donner Lake and going to Donner Lake on our way home from our honeymoon in Tahoe. I remember telling my brother I was pregnant with Connor, in Donner Lake. I remember the first time I walked through the door with Connor in hand. 

Few people have a place like that... so mom & dad... Thank you. You have given us a place where memories are made and laugher occurs... Connor is one lucky boy to get to spend his summers.. and winters.. In such an amazing place! 

Any post wouldn't be complete without some photos! 

Pop playing with Connor

Photoshoot with the girls

Smores... yummy!

My little buddy

5 month old photoshoot.. more pics to come

friends

Unfortunately the losing volleyball team :(

Beach volleyball

Connor J at the beach... Thanks Nonni for watching him while we lost in volleyball :(

Card game

Relaxing on the deck

Moving on out...

Last night, I crawled into bed exhausted after an hour and 1/2 of putting Connor to sleep... yes in his OWN room. Derek was almost asleep but whispered to me "you're a great mama, you're doing a great job. Connor is lucky to have you". My heart filled up with relief. Its as if Derek knew I needed to hear that. Just minutes before I was rocking Connor to sleep, about to lay him in his crib, asking myself "Am I doing the right thing? Is this the right time to move him into his own room?" As I rocked him, I knew he was sound asleep but I held him for a few minutes longer. In that moment, I knew a change was happening. The little raspberry that grew inside of me for 9+ months was now a 5 month old full of smiles, laughs and personality. The 7 pound newborn that slept right next to me and woke up every 3 hours now weighted 16 pounds and slept longer through durning the night! At that moment I knew this was the first of many changes ahead of us. Every mother prays that their child grows healthy however, along with growth comes change. Connor couldn't sleep in our room forever and in fact, he will probably sleep even better in his own room without his daddy snoring, Radar dreaming and waking up due to his pack n play bowing in the middle :/ 

I know I will ask myself if Im doing the right thing many more times in the future. I know that as long as Connor is smiling and growing, then Im doing a great job. I also know that if I don't feel 100% comfortable with it, then it's not the right thing. Last night I felt comfortable. I felt positive that my baby boy was ready to sleep good in his own room & I needed to stop being selfish wanting him to sleep next to me in a bowing pack n play forever. 

Connor woke up once last night at 1:30am and I rocked him to back to sleep in 5 minutes. I was then greeted by a smiling baby boy at 8:30am. 

I think Connor enjoyed his new bed.

Plus it was kinda nice to cuddle with my hubby and not worry about waking up a sleepy baby right next to us!