all over the place

Sometimes my mind is all over the place.

Derek just went to bed, Connor's been asleep since 8, & Radar is snoring next to me in the family room

& here I sit

this week, i didn't go to school.. at all...

it was nice

& it made me not want to go to school anymore

I spent my days simply enjoying my baby, my husband & our life... & didn't even think of school once

but I know I must push through... easier said than done

Im watching the CMA's.. I love country music... they make me wanna put on my cowboy boots & take a ride in Derek's lifted truck down some backroads... cause I do that all the time ;)

Then I thought... I want to be a photographer.. So I texted my SIL & proposed the idea of teaming up... since she is amazing at what she does & I wanna be like her :)

But then I think.. Do I really have time to do photography? ... no

I look to my right... into my kitchen and my eye catches our BRAND NEW appliances.. Thanks hubby!

Then I look a bit more right... next to that beautiful new microwave I see the inside's of my spice cabinet... yup because there are no doors on my cabinets.. Why you ask?

Well, since our lives our so boring, you know Derek just works 40+ hours a week, I go to grad school, not to mention we have a precious 8 month old, well yes since we have SO much free time, we decided to paint our cabinets! All 26 doors & 4 drawers... yes only 4 drawers... it's not easy to keep those drawers organized....

Anyways.. so our kitchen is to say the least "under construction"

Just seconds before I began this post.. I was looking up suburbans for sale within 50 miles of Vacaville...

Cause there is only 3 of us, yet we NEED a car that seats 7 right?

oh my mind sometimes...

Tonight, Connor was SO quick to fall asleep. Even though he only nursed for a few minutes & then was OUT, I held him close long after he was asleep. He is so perfect. For several minutes after he was done nursing, his little lips continued to suck until he entered deep sleep and his sucking motion turned into a wide open mouth and his limbs went limp. I kept holding him. I whispered into his ear softly and told him how much I loved him. I took a deep sigh and Connors mouth went from wide open, to a smile. What a perfect moment.

Regardless of our busy lifestyle with school, work, thoughts of being a photographer or buying a suburban, and our kitchen being half painted, half not....

those things matter little to the beautiful baby boy that i get to tuck into bed every night... well I don't actually "tuck" him in but you know what i mean...

Getting to nurse & rock a healthy 18lb 8 month old to sleep every night makes my WHOLE day perfect.

He is my life

Seeing his daddy make him giggle & smile melts my heart & never gets old.

My mind may wonder, my desires my change hourly but no matter what, no matter how busy or how chaotic life gets, I stare at Connor in amazement every second I look at him & I no that I am truly blessed...

not only to get to be a stay at home mom, but a wife, a daughter & a grad student.

I am lucky & I never want to take my life for granted.